The Deconstructive Mind

I often look to nature for guidance in times of need, Mother always knows best. I learned this lesson from a special group of trees, the mighty Redwood. Redwoods are close relatives of the Sequoia and both are giants. These trees stand strong and firm, living for millennia. These gargantuan trees do not stand well alone; they need the support of the forest. The root systems do not grow too deeply within the earth, but grow outwards like outstretched hands reaching and entwining with those of their neighbors. In this way, one tree is strengthened by the collective support of his or her brothers and sisters. Perhaps, our species is not as intrinsically communal as the Redwood, but I would insist we need each other more than many would think.

We have the blessing of choice. We call this freedom. The nature of this blessing is a paradox. We have the freedom to choose, but the responsibility to choose ethically. We can argue about what that means, discussion is often a great vehicle of understanding; but, ethics are relative to the temporal and cultural networks in which they preside. As such, the only variable worth examining is yourself. Unlike the Red Wood, we can root ourselves deep within a solid foundation and grow outwards reaching with hands of love towards our neighbors. In fact, both directions are mutually beneficial. By striving to strengthen our neighbor with compassion, we will ultimately grow deeper roots within ourselves. Likewise, by practicing the examination of self, we can help our neighbors by giving them a strong shoulder to lean on. Therefore, practice self-mastery in order to help the other and learn self-mastery by being compassionate to the other.

As we begin to master the suffering in our own life, the most disheartening thing is to see the suffering in the lives of our loved ones. I have asked my teacher many times how I can bring the zen from my life into the lives of my friends and family. He has always told me that I cannot convey it through my speech. It is very true. To borrow from my understanding of symbolism and linguistics, the pure meaning I try to signify will always be lost in translation. We all have different connotations, different chains of signifiers. Some meaning will always be lost as thought translates into language, then that language is translated into another’s thoughts. All is not lost though, Thay offers one method. Thay says, “the easiest way to transfer positive energy from one life to another is through a smile”. The smile is the simplest doorway between two hearts. A smile offers hope.

Try to remain mindful of your thoughts. By maintaining mindfulness, we can remain compassionate to all the beings of existence. Throughout life, our friends and family will turn to us in time of need. This is when we must remain firm and join together. Through trials and tribulations, our bonds will grow stronger and our roots will run deeper. Whether you acknowledge it or not, we are all linked together and we are mutually dependent as existing life, a singular energy. Sometimes, the softest whisper of love is enough to give someone hope. Sometimes, hope is all a person needs. Be there for each other.

Sometimes while following the heart, you may find that people will try to dissuade you from your path. Do not be discouraged. If you are following your heart and acting with right intention, to improve the life of yourself and those around you, then you are on the right path. Sometimes people will not understand and people tend to be afraid of what they cannot understand. Do not let their negativity enter your life. The first step is to smile. Then, calmly say, “I understand that your comments come with the intent of love and protection, but mindless worrying is not a beneficial activity to any party, especially to yourself.” This is important because it is crucial to develop understanding and compassion. I know from personal experience that those who doubt my choices the most are loved ones and that they do not voice opposing opinions for any reason other than love. If that is their intention, you should always listen to it with open ears and an open mind. After listening explain your reasoning in a calm tone. Avoid conflict! Lastly, they may not understand in the end. Accept it and move on. You can only change yourself, but family and friends may learn through the example of that change. Suffering exists everywhere in this world, but you can avoid suffering. It is your choice. Follow your heart.