The Deconstructive Mind

A Lesson From Sister Sequoia

My eyes close. I drift far away in the jumbled web of space and time. Then, I stop. The space around me is dark and gently moist. Cracking open, I begin to grow. Although, I cannot see, I intuitively know up from down. Stretching forward, I grow centimeter-by-centimeter, inch-by-inch. Finally, I break free.

A small hole of light emerges. I cautiously squeeze through. Cool fresh air caresses, as I sprout through the ground. My small leaflets spread open, taking in the sunlight of the clearing. To my right, the carcass of an ancestor lies broken. Its final sacrifice opened space, clearing space for another to take its place. His trunk lies broken in several pieces, ready to be broken back down into the earth, nutrients for me. I am most grateful for grandfather’s gift, my inheritance.

I grow fast, in the eyes of my species. Grandfather’s passing opened a great deal in the canopy. Sunlight shines through, a rare sight in the valley of giants. In my long years of solitude, I can’t help but linger on the irony. The space that quickens my pace of growth also keeps me alone, I long to know my kind, I long for another. Nonetheless, I persist. Nevertheless. I grow.

The sun rises one morning; I can see it better now that I have grown taller and wider. In a few years I will be able to see over the canopy. I’m thirsty. Concentrating on my roots I sip from the soil below. The liquid rushes from the earth through the many roots my soul, but something else is there. After I finish drinking, I search for what I feel. Something is wrapping around my roots!

Through the touch, I yell out, “Who is this? What are you doing? These are my roots!”

In response, a whisper, “Shh, calm down dear brother.”

“Calm down? You’ve entered my clearing, my space,” I retort in quick anger.

I feel her gentle touch beneath the soil, as the soft soothing whisper continues, “We’ve seen you sprout swiftly in the clearing made by grandfather. We’ve seen you grow tall and strong, from his rich nutrients. We’ve also seen your loneliness and your glances towards the forest. It took time, but we’ve been growing to meet you. Your dreams, prayers, and wishes have not been unanswered.”

Could this be? Everything I’ve hoped, everything I’ve dreamed has been constantly, steadily, and slowly coming towards me? A feeling of warmth moves from my roots through my trunk into my leaves above. I reach back with my roots and wrap around hers.

“Sorry, Sister Sequoia sometimes its hard to see what’s in front of us when our gaze is fixed in hope out towards the tree line.”

Her roots grip firm, and she says, “It’s quite alright. Besides, I need you as much as you need me. You’ll see when you break through the canopy. We are not really one tree, but a whole forest.”

I grew and I saw. Sister Sequoia and I lived a long happy life, having many children. Then one day, it was our turn to give back to the earth. Crashing down, we gave back and the forest continued.

The Death of Innocence

Tommy sits on the couch with an Xbox controller his hands, twiddling the joystick, mashing the right bumper. His hair is ruffled and his blue eyes squint in concentration. On the TV several feet away from him, the screen displays the first person point of view of a soldier. Tommy is playing a video game, one of the many first person shooters he and his friends are well acquainted with. Kenny, Tommy’s best friend, sits next to him on the couch, watching his friend play the game and offering advice on the best course of action.

“Tommy!” Kenny screams, “Watch out, I think I saw someone run into that building.”

Tommy sticks his tongue as he presses a button on the controller. The character on screen crouches and begins to move slowly forward very stealthily. He slams the right bumper, and the character on screen chucks a grenade around the corner. The grenade explodes. The speakers on the TV roar with the thunderous cry. Debris is tossed around the corner and along with it the body of an enemy soldier.

Kenny laughs, “Nice! Told you I saw someone in there. What would you do without me?”

“Haha, I probably wouldn’t get a single kill.”

            Just as Tommy says this, another enemy runs from the around the corner and shoots. Tommy is too caught up in celebrating his kill with his friend and tries to react. It is too late. Tommy’s soldier on screen dies.

            “Well, where was the heads up on that one, Kenny?” Tommy asks.

            “Sorry buddy, I can’t do it all for you.”

Tommy hands the controller over to Kenny and asks, “You want to play?”

            “No, not now, let’s go see what Sid is doing outside.”

Sid is Kenny’s older brother. Kenny and Sid live with their parents on a pretty sizeable property. They have many trees around their house and the kids enjoy going outside to enjoy nature. Sometimes they go for walks in the woods and look at all the pretty birds. Other times they have camped in the woods or built forts. Today will be different though. Sid has a new toy.

            The two boys get up off the couch and head towards the door. Kenny’s mother stops them before they leave. She has two soft drinks in her hands.

            “I thought you boys would like a drink.”

            “Thanks mom,” Kenny says as he takes the beverage from his Mother.

            “Sid just bought a bb gun. I told him to be careful and only to shoot empty cans. Make sure to be safe out there, guys.”

            The boys nod their heads in agreement and walk outside. They start to sip their soft drinks and walk into the back yard. After taking a few steps, a loud popping sound comes from the wooded area deep in the back yard. Then, the boys hear a loud clank.

            “That must be Sid shooting cans!” Kenny exclaims.

            They start to run off towards the tree line. As the boys get closer to the woods, the repetitive clanking noise becomes louder. Finally, they reach the tree line and enter the woods.

            “I wonder where he is?” Just as Tommy asks this, another shot rings from beyond the trees to the right of them.

            “He must be this way.” Kenny points to the general direction of the shooting.

The two boys start to climb a small hill. When they reach the top, they can see Sid below shooting at a row of cans with holes in them. They yell out at him and he looks up at his younger brother and Tommy slowly making their way down the side of the hill.

Sid yells, “Hey, little bro!”

“So, what do you have there?” Kenny asks.

Sid places his arm behind his head, then shrugs his shoulders and sarcastically says, “Oh this little thing, it’s just something I picked up.”

Tommy and Kenny both finish the last couple drops of their soft drinks and lift the empty cans in the air. “We have some new cans for you,” Kenny adds.

Sid laughs and says, “Nice, place them over there next to the other ones and I’ll show you how to use this thing.”

Tommy gives his can to Kenny and Kenny walks about twenty yards to where the rest of the cans are placed. He places the two cans at the end of the row, and then walks back to where Tommy and his brother are standing.

Sid hands the gun to Kenny and begins to explain how to shoot the gun, “Line the can up in your sights then gently squeeze the trigger. Don’t forget to breathe.”

Kenny gently takes a slow breath in and lines up the can in his sights. He then lets the breath out slowly and gently pulls the trigger. With a clank, the can falls over. Kenny runs over to the can to inspect the damage he caused. He picks the can up and looks through the hole at Sid and Tommy.

“Did you see that?”

“Yes, it was a great shot Kenny, but get back over here so we can give your friend here a turn at shooting the gun.”

Kenny runs back to the group and gives the gun over to Tommy. It’s just like the game we were playing, Tommy. Imagine that can is just like those terrorists in the game. Tommy nods his head and kneels down, aiming through the sight on the gun. He takes a deep breath just like Sid told them to do and shoots the gun. The second can falls down with a hole in the center.

Sid pats Tommy on the Shoulder, “Good job!”

Sid’s phone begins to ring. He pulls it out and reads a text message. Tommy and Kenny take turns shooting at the cans. With each successive shot, their aim gets better and better.

Sid puts the phone away. “Listen, I need to go run inside really quick. You guys can keep shooting. Just be careful.” After saying this, Sid walks off, back toward the house. Once he is out of hearing range, Kenny motions to Tommy to stop shooting.

“Tommy, shooting cans is fun, but you know what sounds more fun?”

“What?” asks Tommy.

“Hunting!”

Tommy stops to think about it and shakes his head, “I don’t know, Kenny” he says.

Kenny ignores his friend, “Come on. Follow me.”

The two boys start to head off deeper into the woods. As they continue the trees start to get bigger. The birds sing their songs, unaware of the danger below. The boys have walked in these woods many times and the birds have grown used to their presence, but today is a different day.

“Look in that tree. See that bird?” Kenny points at a yellow and black bird in an old oak tree.

“Yeah, I see it,” Tommy responds.

“Shoot at it.”

Tommy looks back at Kenny with worry on his face. “I don’t know.”

“Come on, you probably won’t hit it anyway. Don’t be such a baby.”

Tommy raises the gun and takes aim at the bird in the tree. The bird whistles in blissful ignorance. Tommy takes a big breath and lets it out, audibly. He closes his eyes, afraid of seeing the bird get shot, and shoots. The bird stops whistling and falls to the ground.

Kenny looks at Tommy with his mouth wide open. “You got it. You got it,” he yells dancing around.

Tommy opens his eyes and slowly begins to walk toward the dead bird, leaving his dancing friend behind. He finds the bird on the ground still twitching. He picks it up and cradles it in his hands. The bird lets out one last tweet and becomes still. A single tear forms in Tommy’s eye, but he wipes it away before Kenny can see.

“Is it dead?”

Tommy nods his head slowly in affirmation. He starts to bury it in the ground under the tree. “I’m not feeling too well, lets go back inside.”

Tommy does not say much as they walk back through the woods toward the house. He is still holding on to the gun.

“That was incredible, great shot. We should play some more Call of Duty on Xbox”

Tommy stops in his tracks and looks at Kenny and says, “You can, I’ve had enough killing for one day,” then he starts walking again, with the gun slung over his shoulder.